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Declaration of Woke Independence

Declaration of Woke Independence

WHEN in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for alumni, faculty, students, and friends of the world’s greatest STEM university to dissolve the ideological derangements that hold its community in thrall …

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MIT President appoints new Dean of Safe Spaces and Cry Rooms

MIT President appoints new Dean of Safe Spaces and Cry Rooms

Despite repeatedly lowering academic standards to reduce student stress and enable deeper inclusiveness of the less capable, social scientists ensconced in the School of Humanities, Arts, and Social Sciences determined that today’s heartsick, anguished, and enraged students have the lowest level of resilience to unwelcome ideas since Galileo was brought up on charges.

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Bite the hand that feeds you? Nah.

Poor MIT. It only ranks twelfth among its peers raking in the dough from Arab despots. Running a world-class university in the Age of Woke requires a massive administrative bureaucracy, and that doesn’t come cheap.

The Beaver visits Father Sky

Every word in this article comes from MIT News because even the Beaver can’t make up stories this outlandish and patronizing.