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MIT All-Gender Restrooms Working Group announces pee & poo inclusivity study

Plans for a major new Campus Inclusive Restroom Study were unveiled as the grand finale of the 52 page annual report issued by the rapidly growing MIT Institute Discrimination & Harassment Response Office. “The study will engage many stakeholders across the Institute, including diversity, equity, and inclusion staff, the Disability Employee Resource Group and Student Disability Services, the Office of Religious, Spiritual and Ethical Life (ORSEL), and the All-Gender Restrooms Working Group.”

Hundreds of highly paid experts are expected to participate in these weighty deliberations, a key building block of MIT’s new Belong, Achievement, and Composition strategic plan. Of most interest to heteronormative extirpation advocates is the ORSEL interfaith synod that will determine whether leaving the toilet seat up is a venial or mortal sin.

“A community that relieves themselves together believes themselves together,” intoned Dr. Accipiens Balneo, the recently promoted assistant dean of just and sustainable lavatory practices. “MIT wants you to know that when it comes to number one and number two, whether you do it standing up or sitting down, we have your backside. And your frontside. For all 72 officially recognized genders.


  1. Ted Pounds

    Ironically I read this while taking my morning dump….

    • Ayn Honymous

      How appropriate.

    • Anon

      Careful! “Dump” is an aggressive, masculine term that may alienate and disorient those who do not identify their bodily processes in that way.

  2. Anon

    Over 50 years ago, when Senior House went coed, we had a solution for gender inclusive bathrooms. – a pie plate on the door that could be rotated to show Man, Woman or Other, and everyone respected it. And it didn’t take 100 Oberlin grads to implement it.

  3. Anon

    At the risk of giving validity to their delusions – why does the “Institute Discrimination & Harassment Response Office” have an all female staff?

    • harper steve

      How do you know they are female? Also, what is female?


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