College professors are worried that ChatGPT will destroy education. The Beaver decided to give our future AI overlord a spin and asked it to compose today’s Beaver Dropping.

In a groundbreaking move towards fostering inclusivity and enlightenment, MIT has unveiled its latest educational marvel: the mandatory course, “Critical Race Theory for Privileged White Males.” Aimed at helping affluent Caucasian students appreciate the importance of Belonging, Diversity, and Inclusion (BDI), this course promises to be the pinnacle of academic achievement for those who’ve never had to think about race before.

For generations, white males at MIT have been blissfully unaware of the existence of “diversity” beyond their preferred choice of pizza toppings. But fret not, dear privileged scholars, for MIT has come to the rescue. This intensive course will teach you, once and for all, that you are the root cause of all societal issues. Forget about your SAT scores, you are the SATAN of systemic oppression!

Every week, you’ll gather in a circle to share your deepest confessions of privilege. You’ll be given a guilt diary to document all the times you inadvertently oppressed someone with your mere existence. And, of course, each session will conclude with a mandatory group hug to ensure everyone feels equally uncomfortable.

But don’t worry; you’ll receive a Certificate of Wokeness upon completion, and the knowledge that you’ve truly earned your place in the diverse tapestry of MIT’s guilty conscience.