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Speech-cop AI wins second place in MIT $100K entrepreneurship competition

Trigger Warning! We have detected threatening levels of microaggression, discrimination, and condescension in your writing. Your implicit bias readings have crossed into the toxic masculinity zone, and your pronoun use is oppressively noncompliant. “I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid you can’t write that.”

No, it’s not a dystopian sci-fi novel. It’s the second-place winner in this year’s MIT $100k competition. Say hello to a woke Artificial Intelligence startup called Inclusive.ly, cashing in on the forecast $15 billion global DEI market. Functioning like a spell-checker, the product is designed to “help people, teams, and organizations create a more inclusive culture.” The unironically stated goal is to “bring everyone in.”

You will be absorbed.

A successor to MIT’s Index of Forbidden Words, Inclusive.ly’s lexical analysis algorithms remotely query central repositories of continuously curated offensive word clusters. Proper use ensures harmonious, non-cancellable expression even if you weren’t trained to write at Oberlin. Future upgrades include wireless connection to MIT’s anonymous reporting hotline, obviating the unpleasant necessity of ratting out deplorable colleagues.

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