MADISON, Wis. — University of Wisconsin-Madison administrators announced this week they will award Sex Out Loud, the campus’s premier “sex-positive education and activism” collective, $132,991 in mandatory student fees for the 2026-27 academic year. This generous largesse is topped only by a mental-health crisis line, which is either karmic symbiosis or a brilliant business plan.

The money funds a curriculum that would make a Roman bathhouse blush. “Kinky November” headlines the semester with Rope Tying 101 and Paddle Painting, in which students are taught how to tie up their partner before spanking them with decorated wooden implements. There’s Drag Bingo, a Lovense-sponsored lecture titled “Sex After Dark,” and peer-led masturbation-technique seminars taught with the gravity of an organic chemistry lab. Other courses explore topics including BDSM, “birth justice,” “reproductive justice,” “ethical porn,” and “sexual accommodations” for disabled people.

Notably absent from the syllabus: anything resembling normal intimacy between two heterosexuals beginning life’s journey toward love, marriage, and children.

Between the rope, the paddles, Hump Day, and the vibrating bingo cards, Sex Out Loud has built a curriculum optimized for a generation of extremely well-informed, deeply traumatized solo practitioners who could diagram a Shibari harness but are afraid to ask someone out for coffee.

Sex Week itself began in 2002 at Yale, dreamed up by Jewish students as a cheeky nod to “kosher” pleasure. Two decades later, its ideological descendants insist no one can achieve full “liberation” — climactic or otherwise — until the university divests from Israel. Make of that what you will.

Meanwhile, the Institute for Family Studies reports that weekly sex among American adults has collapsed from 55% in 1990 to 37% today, with sexlessness among young men roughly tripling since 2013. Sex Out Loud’s response to a generation having historically unprecedented amounts of no sex at all: more rope.

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