One of the signature legacies of MIT’s past president L. Rafael Reif was his enthusiasm for launching ad hoc working groups. These turned any problem, controversy, or virtue signaling occasion into a growth opportunity for MIT’s burgeoning administrative bureaucracy.

To insulate herself from the unending barrage of DEI controversies, at least until she figures out which bathroom to use, MIT’s new president Sally Kornbluth named Dr. Inutilem Dundantiam, former Oberlin VP of Intercultural Engagement, to the new position of Deputy Dean of ad hoc working groups. Dean Dundy immediately hired twelve diverse assistants to help handle their exploding workload.

“STEM education is finally undergoing a complete transformation, catching up with the many progressive advances that have revolutionized the liberal arts,” femsplained the new dean. “As affirmed by MIT’s first black female social science chancellor Melissa Nobles, science justice and engineering inclusivity require decolonization, indigenization, racialization, and heteronormative detoxification.”

The new working group will ensure that all other working groups adhere to these unchallengeable principles while further enlarging the administrative staff. Reactionary critics are reminded that the Reif holdovers still consider free speech to be hate speech, despite the fact that the faculty voted otherwise. So keep your comments to yourself or prepare to face consequence culture.