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Preferred-pronoun violator sentenced to ducking stool attitude correction

Double-masked jeerers from cadre pods 6 and 7 attended the first use of the new ducking stool at the restroom-recycled water pond behind the Stata Center.

Sophomore Joe Brown had previously received two warnings from the Dean of Groupthink, lowering his social credit score to within five points of mandatory expulsion. After he was again denounced by anonymous microaggression vigilantes on the Institute Microaggression Thoughtcrime Response (IMTR) hotline, the Assistant Dean of Deviant Discipline decided to make an example of him.

Brown mockingly claims to identify as a bearded clam, often attending classes in a nightgown and bonnet. Pouncing on him when he arrived for Tuesday’s mandatory lecture on how to espouse two mutually contradictory beliefs at the same time, virtuous students dragged the offender off in a mostly peaceful manner to receive his social justice.

Photoshop credit: Jawad Baig


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