Surviving four years of rigorous course requirements, grueling problem sets, a global pandemic, and a never-ending barrage of indoctrination designed to inculcate feelings of self-loathing, shame, and guilt in students of unpreferred identities alongside feelings of victimhood, resentment, and entitlement in students of preferred identities, the Class of 2022 finally gets a chance to breathe free.

That is, until they commence their first corporate job, at which point this all comes back again.

Graduating senior Joe Nerdermeyer shared his learnings with the Babbling Beaver’s roving reporter. “We’ve all become quite skilled at mouthing the right slogans and checking the right boxes while keeping our real thoughts to ourselves. Toeing the line is a small price to pay for taking my advanced engineering training to Wall Street where I can make a fast buck programming robots to play the stock market. Oh yeah, and make the world a better place with social justice, environmental sustainability, and indigenous something-or-other for all.”