MIT’s flagship technology magazine has decided that achieving social justice and global safe spaces requires more than just cry rooms and identity-segregated dorms. In a groundbreaking article published on the first of April, not intentionally intended for fools, Technology Review’s news editor Charlotte Lee advances the theory that the only way women can escape the “manosphere” is to have their own Feminist Internet.

Noted scholar Ezzat Attiya, the head of Al-Azhar University’s Department of Hadith whose number one rated fatwa solved the problem of how unrelated men and women could work in the same office, agrees.

Lauding the growing ranks of techno-feminist leaders behind this latest initiative, Lee growled, “They aim to force tech companies to detoxify their platforms, once and for all, and are spinning up brand-new spaces built on women-friendly principles from the start.”

America’s first DEI-appointed Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson was a bit flummoxed when asked to comment on the legal prospects for a women’s internet. “How many times do I have to tell you that I’m not a biologist?”