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Edsel Professor of Misgendered Studies explains MIT’s evolving speech code

Wielding powerfully obfuscating rhetoric honed over years of studying social and political philosophy, MIT’s Edsel Professor of Misgendered Studies grabbed the spotlight in the last Faculty Newsletter. There she explained to dumb engineers previously accustomed to speaking their minds why only unnamed experts on normative matters can decide what can and cannot be said on campus, by whom, why, when, and where.

We should avoid an epistemology that privileges reason,” she reportedly declaimed to a lecture hall full of cowering undergrads and grumbling faculty assembled for mandatory DEI matins. “Reason reflects a bias towards men, or the “masculine”, which feminism ought to challenge. A rational stance is itself a stance of oppression.”

Confused parents visiting campus with their precocious progeny planning to apply to what was once the world’s leading STEM institution, were heard asking their Admissions Office guide – “Are you sure this is MIT and we haven’t accidentally wandered into Oberlin?”

Story submitted by Publius. Photoshop credit: Jawad Baig


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