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MIT’s J-PAL threatens Diversity Industry

The cornerstone of MIT’s Abdul Latif Jameel Poverty Action Lab (J-PAL) is “ensuring that policy is informed by scientific evidence.” J-PAL’s founders earned the Nobel Prize in Economics by taking the novel approach of performing rigorous, outcomes-based, quantitative field research on poverty alleviation programs.

Who would have thought that the scientific method could be applied to examining a corruption-laden industry notorious for counterproductive programs based solely on good intentions supported by fawning journalists and grifting politicians?

In a renegade move widely condemned by experts in normative matters, a J-PAL project has been launched to scientifically assess the efficiency and effectiveness of MIT’s far-flung Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) programs.

“No one wants to know whether these programs actually advance their stated goals,” remarked the Beaver’s anonymous source. “I might lose my job if people find out what a colossal waste of money it has been hiring over 100 highly paid professionals to design, promote, and administer intrusive and infantilizing programs that end up resegregating the community into warring identity groups while terrorizing the faculty into a stupor of self-censorship.

As the search for a new Vice President of Equity and Inclusion continues, seeking to replace the empty suit that previously occupied the ICEO office, administrative justice demands that the status quo of exponential growth, lack of accountability, and budgetary opaqueness be sustained. (Ask president Kornbluth if she even knows how many DEI employees MIT has.)

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