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MIT invites all loyal subjects to the coronation of its new Queen

Hear ye, hear ye, let the royal festivities begin!

This Saturday, April 29, MIT will inaugurate its newest president, marking the first time the world’s leading STEM university has been entirely led by women.

Along with the requisite jugglers, clowns, and sacred traditions of academe, music of resilience and activism will serenade social justice acolytes determined to build a better world.

Special exhibits will remind attendees of MIT’s shameful history of racism, colonialism, sexism, homophobia, capitalist exploitation, and despoiling of the earth, including …

Graduate students are invited to attend but are reminded that they must be re-chained to their lab benches by 5 o’clock lest their gruel rations be cut in half.

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