Guest post by Dr. Reginald T. Throttleflake, Deputy Administrator for Cognitive Containment, U.S. Bureau of Neurological Public Safety

This office has been monitoring, with mounting concern, an outbreak of debilitating psychic injury centered on the campus of Harvard University. A survey released this month confirms that 47 percent of Harvard seniors report having mental illness, a rate more than double that recorded in the general U.S. adult population.

This comes as no surprise. Harvard and its peer institutions operate a two-stage mental illness production process. In Stage One, students are immersed in a pedagogy that classifies every human being as either an oppressor or an oppressed based on their immutable characteristics. This framework is carefully calibrated to produce guilt, resentment, and a pervasive sense of existential grievance while removing all vestiges of individual human agency.

In Stage Two, Harvard deploys its celebrated mental health industrial complex, some 45 counselors, numerous crisis teams, and an expanding bureaucracy, not to treat the psychic wounds, but to validate them, label them, and administer academic accommodations, thereby perpetuating this iatrogenic malady. As one legal observer noted, mental illness has been elevated at these institutions to an “intersectionality merit badge.”

The product thus manufactured — credentialed, traumatized, and thoroughly convinced of her own victimhood — is then released into the American body politic. We have seen the consequences. One Harvard creation, having persuaded herself and several million voters that she was oppressed by virtue of her self-imagined Cherokee ancestry, has served for years in the United States Senate, where she pursues policies designed to sustain the nation’s systemic psychopathology.

This office has therefore concluded that Harvard Yard constitutes a public health hazard of the first order. We recommend immediate campus quarantine and a hard perimeter at the Charles River until we can determine how to best flatten the curve.