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MIT MindHandHeart values workshops are standing by to absorb you

Are you of the body? The body is one. Blessed be the body.

Community and Belonging are the foundational values of higher education. Questioning this article of faith can harm the student body. Inculcating identical values in every student assures diversity. Eliminating heretical values assures inclusion. And paying $82,730 a year to be indoctrinated by an army of DEI professionals while trying to get a STEM education assures equity.

MIT’s MindHandHeart social engineering coalition was established to shape MIT’s culture. Among its many programs are Values Workshops designed to impose uniform beliefs. These beliefs were carefully crafted by certified ethics experts dedicated to advancing the good of society.

Learn to avoid using forbidden words, the first step toward banishing forbidden thoughts. Acknowledge the higher truth that taking drugs and chopping off body parts can transform you into the opposite sex. Embrace your eradicable white male privilege or permanent BIPOC victimhood.

Have a mind of your own? Got your values from your parents? Not interested in being molded into a social justice warrior by Oberlin graduates who couldn’t make it through freshman year at MIT if their lives depended on it? This is unacceptable. You will be absorbed.


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