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MIT announces Persona Non Grata donor rejection program

MIT lame-duck President L. Rafael Reif, still smarting from getting his fingers caught in the Epstein and Skoltech cookie jars, announced a new GAC program designed to ensure that donations to MIT only come from ideologically vetted sources guaranteed not to trigger Twitter mob embarrassment.

“Reputation management has become a complex task given the rapidity with which the shifting Overton Window can consign previously acceptable individuals, corporations, countries, practices, and articles of common sense to public relations purgatory,” explained MIT’s purple-haired, nose-ringed, gender nonconforming public relations administrator.

“We cannot allow MIT’s sacred values to be tainted by money from climate deniers, DEI objectors, mask skeptics, preferred pronoun violators, fill-in-the-blank-o-phobes, Joe Rogan fans, Ukraine invaders, or national security risks who refuse to accept that Oceana has always been at war with Eastasia,” declaimed the chair of MIT’s new Halt Unwoke Activities Committee (HUAC).



    However, sinners need not despair – your money is still acceptable through the Rinse-O-Matic program which involves sending an accompanying letter explaining that the funds are reparations for your past transgressions.

  2. William A Charles

    Please keep up the good work. I am a twice wounded Vietnam combat vet.

    I remember when I returned from the Army to MIT in 1969 to finish my BSEE, there were SDS and other radical groups attempting to intimidate and silence anyone who diverged from their views. We had many verbal and more than one physical confrontation at the president’s office and the MIT Placement Office. Never submit or surrender–you will become a slave to the oppressors posing as protectors of the downtrodden.


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