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MIT permanently drops requiring math SAT scores for admission

Following the lead of other formerly top-ranked universities, MIT will permanently stop considering standardized test scores when evaluating applications for undergraduate admissions. “Students with poor math skills will never again be denied access to lucrative STEM careers, opening the field to greater equity and inclusion,” beamed the Dean of MIT’s new Victim Studies department. “Engineering is for everyone,” xe proclaimed. “It’s high time to make STEM professionals look like the rest of America, by whatever means necessary.”

When asked what impact this would have on MIT’s tradition of excellence, MIT lame-duck president Rafael Reif recited sayings from his 47 hours of mandatory DEI training. “Excellence, like intelligence, comes in many forms” he parroted proudly.

Experts from Oberlin agree that STEM training need not begin with calculus, an institute course requirement the MIT Committee on Curricula is being pressured to drop as enrollment in the social sciences balloons. Social scientists have proven that Math Anxiety can contribute to a hostile environment, which could delay the ultimate takeover of the university by righteously trained pedagogues at the School of Humanities, Arts, and Social Science.

Photoshop credit: Jawad Baig

3 Comments

  1. Adam Dahlstedt

    one of the caziest things i have ever read, god save us all

    Reply
  2. JMS

    OK, this is too freaking realistic to be “HA, HA” funny. It’s frightening and depressing. What times we live in!

    Reply
  3. JWP

    Just wait until MIT add a School of Education!

    Reply

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