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MIT losing race to hire disgraced leftists

Despite token efforts such as honoring communist accessories to murder on Martin Luther King Day, schools like Harvard, Princeton, Yale, Georgetown, and others are leaving MIT in the dust providing cushy sinecures for disgraced leftists who want to play professor while they lick their wounds before returning to public prominence.

“We thought being the long-time home to Noam Chomsky was enough to guarantee MIT’s pride of place,” explained Social Justice Chancellor Melissa Nobles. “Alas, the bar has been raised. Hence, I am convening a search committee to identify and recruit the disgraced public figure most loathed by Tucker Carlson fans to join our SHASS faculty as Distinguished Professor of Statist Comsymp Evangelism.”

From Anthony Fauci to Stacey Abrams, Angela Davis to Robert Malley, there is no better place than today’s universities to burnish a battered reputation, recharge your batteries, and mold the minds of tomorrow’s cadres of SJWs.

“Why should the leading STEM university in the world be left out of this prestige garnering process?”, pondered MIT’s new president Sally Kornbluth. Determined to be all things to all people, President Kornbluth has been working overtime to expand the bloated DEI bureaucracy she inherited, while making sure to utter empty platitudes about free speech, viewpoint diversity, and academic freedom.

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