This is the first in the Babbling Beaver’s new series of faculty profiles shining the searing spotlight of sardonic satire on MIT professors who most clearly exemplify the devastation wrought by the Woke Mind Virus infecting the world’s leading STEM university.

When it comes to reservoirs of infection, it’s hard to top MIT’s Department of Anthropology.

Long before recent unfortunate events proved that “Islamophobia is the dominant form of racism today” our intrepid Herren Doktor Professor Stoetzer introduced a scintillating lecture that addressed the most pressing question in settled science: “Is Islamophobia accelerating global warming?” You can’t beat that for getting in on the climate action.

Her focus of study is “urban life in the ruins of European nationalism and capitalism.” Ruination that is rapidly accelerating thanks to an immigrant invasion of Islamic unassimilables coupled with the self-inflicted destruction of national energy systems in the name of Mother Gaia.

Dr. Stoetzer’s course on Gender, Race, and Environmental Justice provides an “introduction to the analysis of gender in science, technology, and environmental politics from a global perspective.” What better way to prepare students for a life of activism gluing themselves to roads and famous paintings?

Faithful Beaver readers are encouraged to nominate their favorite nutty MIT professor to feature in the next Death Spiral of STEM Faculty Focus.