Another day in the Babbling Beaver writers’ room and the complaints are flying.

“Did you see the latest announcement about president Reif’s dance party?”

“Oh yeah? What about this new SHASS course listing on gender, race, and enviro justice?

“Ha! Check out this article demanding MIT fix “bad periods” in The Tech.

“Forget it. Erotic vomiting at GCWS has started up again.”

It seems that every time the Beaver’s writers fire up the hookah to help them conjure up absurd fake news stories about the woke extremism that has taken over MIT, real news about woke extremism pushes their parodies out of the publishing queue.

“How can I make fun of something that’s already a joke?” lamented Mark Felt, who hasn’t had a byline in weeks. “Oh yeah?” Little Caesar moaned. “My last parody got spiked because it came true the day before my piece was scheduled to run!” Lodovico Volponi hung his head in despair. “Irony is dead where insanity rules. We just can’t compete. Hey Tannhauser, are you going to Bogart that joint, or what?”

Faithful Babbling Beaver readers are urged to be patient. Sanity will surely return to campus one day, after which irreverent satire can regain its rightful place.