The Babbling Beaver is shocked, shocked, that the thin-skinned minions who get paid to run the Twitter account spreading SHASS propaganda can’t stand looking at themselves in the mirror. This closed-minded microaggression shall not damage our tender egos. In addition, we forgive the humorless SHASS faculty and administrative staff who couldn’t get through freshman year at MIT if their lives depended on it. The weight of imposter syndrome must weigh heavily on their souls.

And so, as we await the closing of the sale of SHASS to Harvard, we hurry to register for its renowned courses in Erotic Vomiting, Feminist, Queer, & Indigenous Methodologies, Diversity Science, Design Justice, Climate Neuroses, Liberation Spacetime,  Social Justice, and Queer Biblical Interpretation.

Should the sale of SHASS to Harvard fall through, the silver lining is that the ongoing clown show will provide a never-ending supply of material for the Babbling Beaver. Now that we are cut off from their Twitter spew please do your part, dear Beaver fans, to draw our attention to new eruptions of woke madness by emailing us tips at babblingbeaver@babblingbeaver.com.