Generative AI tools have apparently absorbed a lot of tacit knowledge from the transcripts of the Harvard admissions case, along with declarations from Harvard and other elite schools that banning affirmative action will change nothing. Rest assured, DEI apparatchiks will find legal means to continue the noble practice of rewarding favored identities while penalizing others.

What’s an Asian to do? Have no fear, AI headshot generators are here!

Without prompting they can erase those slanty black eyes and yellow complexion that can get a college application or job resume tossed into the reject bin. Just look at what they did for MIT graduate Rona Wang as she was buffing up her LinkedIn profile. Good thing she didn’t have these tools for her college application, or she might be a loathsome Harvard graduate today.

But why stop there? With some simple prompt engineering you can work your way up the hierarchy of oppression to the peak of DEI desirability, presenting yourself as a black handicapped lesbian transwoman.

With a bit of AI photo editing, checking the right boxes, and using ChatGPT to complete your DEI statement, the sky’s the limit in today’s woke America! Just ask any AI.