In his last official act before checking in for rehab at College Presidents Anonymous, outgoing president L. Rafael Reif convened an ad hoc task force chartered with recommending a new name for the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.
“In order to expunge the shame of our racist and colonialist past, I have asked Chancellor Melissa Nobles to chair a select group of enlightened DEI experts to choose a more fitting moniker reflective of our strengthened commitment to anti-racist pedagogy, multigender justice, and the restoration of indigenous knowledge.”
Candidate names under consideration include:
Massachusetts Institute of Belonging and Community
Massachusetts Institute for Decolonizing Science
Better World Academy of Socialist Scientism
Mea Culpa College of Quantitative Correctness
Settled Science Seminary of Social Justice Servicepersons
The renaming task force is expected to announce its decision before the MIT faculty votes on accepting a Free Speech Statement or when hell freezes over, which appears more likely to happen first.