Thanks to the miracle of generative AI, the Babbling Beaver found his voice. He proudly offers you his first release, accompanied by the Crooning Castoridae Brothers. Lyrics by the Beaver with an original tune by the geniuses at Suno and their merry GPU cluster.

Please kick back, pour yourself some grog, turn up your sound, click here and feel free to sing along.

The Ballad of the Babbling Beaver

With his tongue in his cheek
and a pen in his hand
sick and tired of the Wokeness
destroying the land
came a Beaver determined
to set his school free
from the DEI deans
screwing up MIT.

So he summoned his crew
of pissed-off alums
and cancelled professors
who hated the bums
that had laid their school low
with their postmodern drivel
determined to mock them
with satire uncivil.

[chorus]
Give an Aargh! hearty mates
that will rattle their balls
and shake up the twats
that pollute our proud halls.
Cause we don’t give a damn
for these idiot SHASSters
and sure as shit don’t
want them here as our masters.

The Woke Mind Virus spread
Like a Covid pandemic
driving MIT’s campus
beyond schizophrenic
with Queers for Hamas
and confused co-ed lasses
rampaging like mobs
of deranged stupid asses.

The professors and staff
That spread this rank slime
need to be shown the door
while we still have time
to save STEM from destruction
by new ways of knowing
and DEI deans
and their racist bellowing.

[chorus]
Give an Aargh! hearty mates
that will rattle their balls
and shake up the twats
who pollute our proud halls.
Cause we don’t give a damn
for these idiot SHASSters
and sure as shit don’t
want them here as our masters.

So come along brave lads
join the Beaver rebellion
and shake up the ‘Tute
like a courageous hellion.
Defy DEI and its
foul perpetrators.
Kick out the damned deans
and woke administrators.

Restore MIT
to its well-deserved glory
and rescue its students
from Woke purgatory.
It takes engineers
to make civilization
the bedrock upon which
to build a great nation.

[chorus]
Give an Aargh! hearty mates
that will rattle their balls
and shake up the twats
who pollute our proud halls.
Cause we don’t give a damn
for these idiot SHASSters
and sure as shit don’t
want them here as our masters.

Aargh! Aargh! Aargh!