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MIT Deans compete in the DEI Derby

It’s a big day at MIT in this first triple crown race as America’s leading DEI Deans set their sights on claiming top honors, with career hopes of one day becoming a STEM university president despite a total lack of accomplishments or qualifications. The raucous BIPOC LGBTQ+ crowd in the infield prepares to cheer their favorites as a murky CRT mist muddies the track.

We ready for the start, and they’re off!

Institute Community Equity Officer John Dozier riding favorite Virtue Signaling hugs the rail as DEI Dean Alana Anderson at the Schwarzman College of Computing presses on the outside atop Systemic Grievance. Coming on strong is DEI Dean Nandi Bynoe for the School of Engineering straddling Perpetual Victim, followed by Kuheli Dutt from the School of Science flogging Indigenous Knowing. Holy cow, look out for crowd pleaser Tracie Jones from the School of Humanities, Arts, and Social Sciences pushing Gender Dysphoria for all xe’s worth! Rounding out the field, Monica Orta from the School of Architecture and Planning spurs longshot Token Diversity, followed by Bryan Thomas Jr. from MIT Sloan School, struggling to control White Privilege.

Who will advance to the winner’s circle in this year’s DEI Derby? Stay tuned as the Babbling Beaver calls the race!

Story submitted by Tango

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