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The MIT Free Speech Alliance stays pure

Free speech. Viewpoint Diversity. Academic Freedom. The MIT Free Speech Alliance is pledged to fight for these values in a non-partisan manner. So it carefully avoids criticizing woke DEI programs, loony-left SHASS faculty, and race-grifting senior administrators, despite the fact that these are the biggest threats to free speech, viewpoint diversity, and academic freedom.

In response to such purity, the Beaver mocks in your general direction. Because this is what he hears with his sharp satirical ears:

“We are the Citizens Against Mortar Shells Landing on Our Heads (CAMSLOOH). As a strictly non-partisan organization we oppose any mortar shells landing on our heads regardless of who fires them.”

“The only people firing mortar shells at you are Hamas.”

“Hamas does not represent all Palestinians. Palestinians do not represent all Muslims. If we oppose Hamas the media will brand us as Islamophobic partisan promoters of apartheid, and we won’t be able to recruit peace loving Palestinians to our cause.”

“Peace loving Palestinians are afraid to join your cause because this tends to get them murdered by Hamas.”

“That is outside our mandate. We are CAMSLOOH and must stay strictly non-partisan. To demonstrate our purity, we must fight for the right of Hamas to blame us for all the evils in the world, even as they preach our existential cancellation. It is only mortar shells landing on our heads regardless of who fires them that we …*BOOM*


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