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Please help keep MIT’s most celebrated LGBTQ role model out of jail

Prominent MIT alum, deputy assistant secretary of the DOE Office of Spent Fuel and Waste Disposition, and member of the drag queen society the “Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence” Sam Brinton got theyself in hot water and needs your help.

“Who could resist the hypnotic allure of a Vera Bradley bag just there for the taking? Goodness gracious, I was tired and I made a terrible mistake. Five years in prison for felony theft? Please don’t let them do that to me, I’m on a mission to make the world a better place.”

Sam described his life’s work in a glowing puff piece published by his adoring fanboys at MIT. “By day I work to save lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer and questioning (LGBTQ) youth from suicide, and by night I work to save the world from nuclear waste related environmental disaster.”

Admitted to MIT because of his diversity fellowship, Sam found a loving home in MIT’s Technology and Policy Program, one of MIT’s many social engineering practice areas designed to imbue a strong sense of ethics in its students.

Won’t you please help Sam obtain a well-deserved presidential pardon?

1 Comment

  1. Janet McFail

    You do realize faggotism and lesbianism is punishable by death to the spirit and body.


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