The only thing better than having a committed anti-racist Chancellor dedicated to inculcating the right mindset in every student is keeping her pockets full of Walking Around Money.

Laundered each year through the MindHandHeart program, a cornucopia of cash awaits students, faculty, and staff ready to promote approved ideologies, identities, and indoctrination programs. Come help celebrate the right kind of Belonging while advancing the Woke takeover of the world’s leading STEM university.

From building queer spaces to promoting black linguistic justice to advancing indigenous ways of knowing to training antiracism warriors to organizing segregated graduation events for preferred identities, if your proposal warms the heart of one of the thundering herd of administrators and program apparatchiks dedicated to the DEI way of life, you’re in.

Who can forget Random Acts of Kindness Week, an annual ritual spawned by this program, or the birth of Wide TIM, now a fixture on campus? A review of all the programs our noble Chancellor has watered with her magic money spigot brings tears to your eyes when you think about how MIT’s tuition money is being spent. Apply now before the October 6th deadline.