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“Wide Tim” infantilized mascot envelops MIT students in its joyous embrace

Everyone must do their part to eliminate toxic masculinity, making sure that college is a nurturing safe space where you can bring your whole self. That’s why MIT’s updated mascot, dubbed “Wide Tim” by its cuddly creator, has earned a special place in the hearts of gender-balancing admissions officers, Oberlin-trained student life administrators, and right-thinking novitiates who venerate belonging, effeminization, and Peter Pan’s vow to never grow up.

Gone are the days when Tech is Hell and IHTFP were badges of honor earned by dauntless engineers who came to Cambridge knowing MIT was the Camp Lejeune of STEM. Gone is the independence of independent living groups. Gone are the bawdy drinking songs whose lyrics would make rugby teams blush. Gone is the rebellious spirit ever ready to challenge authority. Even MIT’s signature hacking ethos has been culturally appropriated, safely redirected into social policy programs to “build a better world.”

What kind of tough and resilient leaders will such a sandboxed, total-surveillance, pablum infused environment produce? Only Wide Tim knows for sure.

1 Comment

  1. MG

    It’s nice that the creator seems to be proud of MIT, but I don’t understand “Wide Tim”. Being fat and unfit is better now? Instead of representing ourselves with possibly the best engineer in the nature, capable of thriving in the life-and-death competition of the real world, we want something “cuddly”? #NotMyMIT


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