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MIT to offer Bachelor of Equity degree

In a groundbreaking advance designed to promote Chancellor Melissa Nobles’ initiative to decolonize science, MIT’s new Department of Racial Sciences announced today that beginning in 2024 it will begin offering a Bachelor of Equity (BE) degree as an alternative to the systemically oppressive Bachelor of Science (BS) diploma.

BE candidates will be excused from general institute requirement core courses in mathematics, physics, biology, and chemistry instead taking six foundational courses in redistributive economics, queer theory, design justice, critical race theory, transgender praxis, and indigenous methodologies.

“This more accessible degree program offers new paths to graduation for diversity admits whose inclusion in the MIT community enriches all our lives,” stated the recently appointed admissions office DEI commissar. “We look forward to welcoming the kind of students who would normally apply to Oberlin knowing they would never otherwise make it through MIT’s freshman year.”

Bachelor of Equity graduates can look forward to a lifetime of copious remuneration and unbridled power in HR Departments throughout the land.


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