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MIT makes a trans-trans breakthrough delivering intersectional solidarity to all

The quest to achieve diversity, equity, inclusion, social justice, belonging, and community – which has been scientifically proven to deliver excellence and achievement – knows no bounds. As this movement grows it extends the embrace of intersectional solidarity to ever wider groups of oppressed peoples.

Scientists at MIT, working with gender affirmation surgeons at Boston Children’s Hospital, have now made it possible for everyone to medically transition through oppressed instantiations without the inconvenience of living with nonfunctional organs. The breakthrough mastectophalloplasty procedure, recently granted emergency authorization by the FDA, will remove then immediately replace all gender-unique body parts. This returns the patient back to their original biological configuration, but with the ability to genuinely assert trans-trans identity through their lived experience.

Inspired by this breakthrough, MIT’s new university chaplain, a properly woke replacement for defenestrated Father Moloney, has developed a recursive conversion sacrament that can turn any Jew into a Moslem then back again. This leaves them as kosher as ever but with new Composition credentials entitling them to full DEI benefits.

Dr. Seuss would be proud to see his cancelled allegory finally become reality.

Story suggested by A Midwestern Fan.


  1. erasmuse

    Beaver: think about making the title of the post have a link to the webpage that it’s on. I get it by email, and want to click on the title and be able to get to the webpage, so I can post it on Twitter sometimes, as I do with the Babylon Bee when they have specially good posts. SUbstack does this, and some other sites, so I’ve gotten used to that style rather than having to go tothe bottom of the article and then go a couple of clicks throuh.

    • Ayn Honymous

      Good idea. The Beaver will try and figure out how to make MailChimp do that.


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