The quest to achieve diversity, equity, inclusion, social justice, belonging, and community – which has been scientifically proven to deliver excellence and achievement – knows no bounds. As this movement grows it extends the embrace of intersectional solidarity to ever wider groups of oppressed peoples.
Scientists at MIT, working with gender affirmation surgeons at Boston Children’s Hospital, have now made it possible for everyone to medically transition through oppressed instantiations without the inconvenience of living with nonfunctional organs. The breakthrough mastectophalloplasty procedure, recently granted emergency authorization by the FDA, will remove then immediately replace all gender-unique body parts. This returns the patient back to their original biological configuration, but with the ability to genuinely assert trans-trans identity through their lived experience.
Inspired by this breakthrough, MIT’s new university chaplain, a properly woke replacement for defenestrated Father Moloney, has developed a recursive conversion sacrament that can turn any Jew into a Moslem then back again. This leaves them as kosher as ever but with new Composition credentials entitling them to full DEI benefits.
Dr. Seuss would be proud to see his cancelled allegory finally become reality.
Story suggested by A Midwestern Fan.