MIT joins fellow travelers at the Harvard Kennedy School to scarf down millions that entrepreneurs foolishly left to foundations that, once they were dead and gone, turned to attacking the economic system that made their success possible.

“Had I known that the same thing would happen to my foundation that happened to Henry Ford’s,” remarked HP co-founder William Hewlett as he turned over in his grave, “I would have left my fortune to feed homeless cats.”

“Individualism, liberty, and free markets must go,” said the superannuated custodian of Bill Hewlett’s legacy. “But don’t worry. We trust that correctly selected experts at the new diverse, equitable, and inclusive MIT will figure out some way to keep the lights on and supply chains running as we strive to make fully automated luxury communism a reality.”