Many of our readers have asked, what became of the students charged with violating the time, place, and manner restrictions regarding disruptive demonstrations on campus?

“The Institute’s well-established disciplinary process is guiding MIT’s response to reports from students, staff, faculty, and others related to campus tensions about the ongoing war between Israel and Hamas.”

Most reports have been submitted to the Institute Discrimination and Harassment Response (IDHR) office or via the MIT hotline. Some have been filed by specially recruited informant-infiltrators.

Nothing is more important than assessing the identity of the accused and accuser, along with where they rank in the hierarchy of oppressed and oppressors. MIT’s policies do not permit “punching down” when it comes to protecting the rights, dignity, and feelings of underrepresented minorities or valorized anticolonial freedom fighters.

Second is to assess the relationship between the alleged violation and how its punishment or exculpation might impact the prevailing reputational damage control narrative.

Third is to make sure we don’t raise the ire of our most vocal neo-Marxist faculty members, restive Affirmative Action admits, and astroturf free speech imposters who will use any means necessary to advance the radical causes and mostly peaceful jihadists they hold dear.

Finally, one must look at how the dispensation of social justice could impact the careers of high-ranking DEI administrators, overpaid deans, Iron Chancellor Melissa Nobles, and President Sally “Deer-in-the-Headlights” Kornbluth.

Rest assured that we will drag out our totally opaque disciplinary process for as long as possible hoping the media storm moves somewhere else. We will then release carefully redacted results in the shadow of some other news event that captures public attention, making sure to protect the privacy and student visa of every miscreant involved.

Thank you for your patience. Please disregard the Islamophobic whining of the international white-adjacent conspiracy and make sure to continue forking over your unrestricted donations as we Stand Together Against Hate to Build a Better World.