In a recent Higher Ed Spotlight Podcast embattled MIT president Sally Kornbluth tried to put the best spin on the progressive destruction of the world’s greatest STEM institution at the hands of unhinged activist-professors at MIT’s School of Humanities, Arts, and Socialist Scientism (SHASS).

“I came to MIT a firm believer in the important role the humanities have to play in rounding out the scientists and engineers we are training,” explained the erstwhile biology professor speaking from an undisclosed location where she is being held in MIT’s vast underground tunnel system. “Little did I know that they turned a frightening portion of the study body into raving lunatics calling for the destruction, I mean, uh, righteous decolonization of Western Civilization.”

Consoled in her captivity by hundreds of millions of federal “Climate Change” dollars, President Kornbluth contemplated her KPI to raise alumni donations without telling graduates that their money will be used to turn MIT into Oberlin. “I’m glad I can at least count on the MIT Alumni Association to keep our alumni in the dark, I mean, informed about the tremendous progress we are making on our Belonging, Achievement, and Composition plan.”