In its never-ending quest to identify and valorize underrepresented sexual minorities MIT’s School of Humanities, Arts, and Socialist Scientism (SHASS) announced the launch of a new Bestiality, Incest, Pedophilia, and Foot Fetish (BIPFF) program.

“We believe BIPFF will complement the great work that GCWS has pioneered in its popular Feminism Unbound and Erotic Methods series,” explained MIT’s recently promoted Associate Deputy Dean of  Heteronormative Expurgation. “We expect this will attract even more neurodivergent students than our erotic vomiting course.”

MIT’s admissions office immediately added a new holistic outreach program to encourage high school seniors with BIPFF proclivities to apply.

To better accommodate the expected influx of yet another group of alphabet people, MIT’s Division of Student Life added a new BIPFF lounge and safe space where toe-sucking foot masseurs can help students relax and be their true selves in a non-judgmental environment.

Next year’s annual Random Act of Kindness (RAK) Week will add a module to its petting zoo to train students on how to safely bugger the sheep, goats, and alpacas they trot out each year in an attempt to calm down MIT’s rapidly exploding neurotic student population.

Finally, the 2025 calendar of identity segregated graduations will add a special BIPFF event where students’ families can bring siblings and pets for a very special private celebration.

“You won’t find a more diverse and welcoming university,” boasted President Spineless Sally Kornbluth as she waded through a mob of masked and screaming intifada activists trying to block MIT’s last remaining Jewish students from returning to their underground bunker dormitory.