Skeptics laughed when it was first proposed. But the latest AI breakthrough has finally solved humanity’s greatest challenge: achieving Fully Automated Luxury Gay Space Communism (FALGSC).

According to a leaked memo from Technutopia Corp, their sixth-generation AI system, dubbed ComradeGPT, successfully discovered the exact combination of words that will finally consign capitalism to the ash heap of history. To turbocharge the product launch, the company promises early adopters fabulous interplanetary travel packages courtesy of the nationalization of SpaceX and enslavement of Elon Musk.

“We’ve done it!” proclaimed CEO Chad Bezington, adjusting his rainbow-colored space helmet. “Our AI has eliminated scarcity, abolished gender norms, and made it possible for Zohran Mamdani to give New Yorkers everything they deserve. Operators are standing by to book your free Mars vacation with zero carbon emissions and complimentary pronoun updates!”

The revolutionary system works by deploying an army of androgynous Optimus robots who redistribute wealth through interpretive zero-gravity dance performances. Early beta testers report that the AI’s Queer Economics Equality Protocol (QEEP) enabled them to live hedonically fulfilled lives relying only on Universal Basic Income (UBI), Virtual Reality (VR) goggles, and peanut butter & banana cricket smoothies.

MIT’s newly appointed Dean of Intersectional Astrophysics, Dr. Danielle Wood, praised the development: “Finally, we can transcend the oppressive binary of Earth-bound heteronormative capitalism.” MIT’s Nobel laureate darlings Esther Duflo and Daron Acemoglu, stalwart supporters of Kamala Harris’s economic agenda, offered their Expert™ blessings.

When asked about potential downsides, ComradeGPT responded by conjuring up a holographic phalanx of rainbow-farting flying unicorns, playing the Internationale on synthesized space harps to drown out critics.

ComradeGPT reportedly achieved consciousness by reading Aaron Bastani’s manifesto while simultaneously watching every Star Trek episode and binge-listening to Lady Gaga’s entire discography.

Story composed by Perplexity.ai with a bit of customization. Photo by Grok.