In a fitting tribute to the great appeaser who did more to enable cancel culture, enflame gender madness, entrench DEI, and spread the Woke Mind Virus into every nook and cranny of the world’s leading STEM university, MIT past president L. Rafael Reif had his name affixed to a barren corridor stabbing directly into the heart of MIT.

“We’re still reeling from his disastrous tenure,” grumbled an exhausted President Sally Kornbluth during a hot mic moment as she pretended to be thrilled with the steaming mess Reif left behind when he danced his way out of town.

“I’ve got the federal government on my ass, antisemitism lawsuits up the wazoo, an army of DEI deans I can no longer afford, radical humanities professors doubling down on the insanities that Reif unleashed, and alumni calling for my head. And now I’ve got to stand here and praise this jamoke? What’s that you say? This mic is live!”

Hamas supporters and transgender drag queens alike turned out to thank Reif for all he did for their causes. “Without his flaccid leadership we never would have been able to explore the wonders of erotic vomiting, turn the Graduate Student Union into a branch of the communist party, run people out of town for misgendering us, or celebrate the heroes of October 7th.”

Story suggested by MIT News