In an artfully worded letter to the community designed to minimize blowback from radical woke faculty, staff, and students, MIT President Sally Kornbluth announced that the world’s leading STEM university has had enough of DEI madness.

For those who don’t understand academic weasel-speak, the Beaver will translate:

“The DEI regime that brought the mean orange man down on us cannot be allowed to threaten the hundreds of millions of taxpayer dollars that keep our research university alive. We surrender.”

“It will take some time to cleanse the Woke Mind Virus infection from every school, department, and center,” explained embattled President Sally Kornbluth. “But by eliminating the central Institute Community and Equity Office (ICEO) and terminating the failed Strategic Action Plan for Belonging, Achievement, and Composition (BAC) we are sending a message to both federal civil rights enforcers and qui tam bounty hunters that they’d have more success picking on that other college up the river.”

While the Vice President for Equity and Inclusion has already resigned and will not be replaced, by some unexplained miracle chief race grifter and DEI-hire Chancellor Melissa Nobles still has her job.

It appears that student infantilization, campus feminization, and clandestine systemic discrimination against male undergraduate applicants will continue. So the Babbling Beaver will have to stay in business a little while longer.