As this tumultuous year draws to a close it’s time to recognize the top ten individuals and organizations at MIT who fed the Babbling Beaver the most mock-worthy material. Hardly a day goes by that these walking caricatures don’t inspire satires that practically write themselves.

And so, without further ado, we bring you this year’s winners:

1. The MIT Division of Student Life: From its WellBeing Lab to its Petting Zoos, in loco nutrix is how MIT’s bloated administration now treats its coddled student snowflakes.
2. LGBTQ@MIT: Is there anything left that still needs queering? Is there something more cringeworthy than deploying event response ambassadors to deal with detransition hysteria? Do flamboyant deviants really not get enough attention at MIT?
3. Professor Sally Haslanger: MIT’s leading misandrist, self-proclaimed enemy of reason, free speech flip-flopper, and chief Hamas cheerleader never fails to embarrass and entertain.
4. The School of Humanities, Arts, and Socialist Scientism (SHASS). The main woke mind virus superspreader at the world’s leading STEM university provides a steady supply of university clowns eager to make fools of themselves.
5. Professor Michel DeGraff: MIT’s leading antisemite, this promoter of intifada and radicalizer of weak-minded students is an experienced grifter who has mastered the art of using temper tantrums to cow his critics.
6. MIT’s Indigenous allies: Now elevated to a Center for Braiding Indigenous Knowledges and Science these preservers of indigenous wisdom and champions of indigenous science leapt right out of episodes of the Simpsons.
7. Chancellor Melissa Nobles: From her Stand Together Against Hate (STAH) fiasco to her leadership efforts fomenting condemnation of the university that made her MIT’s first DEI-hire chancellor, Nobles legacy of failure will outlive her problematic tenure.
8. The MIT Graduate Student Union (GSU): From the Hamas Hokey Pokey to the Day of Rage the GSU’s Marxist leadership never disappoints. OK, sometimes they take their lumps, but they always come back for more.
9. The MIT Office of Sustainability: This office provides a comfy living for virtue signaling bureaucrats striving to make MIT NetZero, which will reduce global mean temperatures by .00000001 degrees. The advance of therapeutic climate paganism delivers a guffaw a day.

And topping them all off as the number one sources of hilarious material:

10. The MIT Consortium for Graduate Studies in Gender, Culture, Women & Sexuality (GCWS): From climate justice to global feminist liberation to woke medicine to spiritual guides to madness these angry madwomen never disappoint. If this daffy dame circus didn’t exist, the Beaver would have to invent it.

Have a Happy New Year and make sure to buy plenty of popcorn for the year ahead.