The Babbling Beaver proudly presents his latest musical confection “Mockery is the Best Policy.” Lyrics by Claude Sonnet 4.6. Vocals and musical accompaniment by Suno. Image by Grok. With apologies to John Travolta and the Bee Gees.
Put on your dancing shoes, crank up the volume, and click here to sing along.
MOCKERY IS THE BEST POLICY
Swift and Voltaire lit the torch long ago
Twain and Mencken put on one hell of a show
Bierce wrote The Devil’s Dictionary with a grin
Orwell lamented as the pigs move in
Wodehouse made the Drones Club look a fool
Carlin mocked the ruling class’s misrule
Babylon Bee keeps the faith every day
That’s how the Beaver learned how to play
Harvard’s Gender Studies dean
Can’t explain what “woman” means
Chomsky types another manifesto, oh oh oh
Yale decolonized the math
Princeton blessed the aftermath
Columbia burned down the quad for the show
Mockery — is the best policy
In your FACE, with grace, disgrace the ivory tower
Mockery — is the best policy
Strike a pose, God knows, the Beaver’s got the power
Ha! Ha! Ha!
MIT put semen in the museum hall
Reif said “equity!” then ran down the hall
Cornell taught the students how to feel
MIT said “that’s the deal”
Women and Gender Studies got a grant
To study why the patriarchy can’t
Keep up with the holographic dancing queen
Decolonizing the laser beam
The Beaver read it all and laughed
Channeling the satirist’s craft
Swift’s A Modest Proposal on his desk, oh oh oh
And when the DEI deans howl
And the cancel culture prowls
He types another headline: “Experts say…” — whoa
Mockery — is the best policy
In your FACE, with grace, disgrace the ivory tower
Mockery — is the best policy
Strike a pose, God knows, the Beaver’s got the power
Ha! Ha! Ha!
Now Afroman baked his Lemon Pound Cake
Ohio deputies thought it was a mistake
They raided his house, they searched every room
They found themselves starring in his next tune
He put ’em in the video, Sheriff and all
The jury said “First Amendment — walk tall”
The Beaver tipped his hat and said, “Brother, I see —
Mockery is the best policy”
Oh, they call it misinformation
They call it a disgrace
But satire’s been the conscience
Of the whole damn human race
From Athens to the Enlightenment
From Grub Street to the web
The jester always tells the truth
The courtiers dare not say
Mockery — is the best policy
In your FACE, with grace, disgrace, the Beaver’s on a mission
Mockery — is the best policy
Ha ha ha — the joke’s on your tuition
Mockery — MOCKERY —
IS! THE! BEST! POLICY!
Aargh!
“The Babbling Beaver… sending greetings… to Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia,
Cornell, and MIT… you’re welcome…”