White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt recently made history as the first gestating birthing person to hold that position, triggering widespread condemnation across the intersectional woke community.

Club of Rome co-president Silvia Zimmermann del Castillo denounced the irresponsible act of white women in developed countries having more than one baby. “The West could lead by example – by bringing fewer children into the world.” The lifetime carbon footprint of Leavitt’s unborn child is conservatively forecasted at 3480 to 4920 tons of CO2, making the growing clump of cells a bigger threat to the planet than Scottish cow farts.

Speaking of protecting the world from unborn children, Alexis McGill Johnson, President & CEO of Planned Parenthood, lamented the poor example this sets for young girls. “We proudly terminated 1.7 million pregnancies during the Biden administration, in no small part thanks to the $3 billion dollars in fungible federal funds we received. Parading around a pregnant press secretary who gloats about the cancellation of our taxpayer support is a poke in the eye to everything our founder Margaret Sanger worked toward.”

“We are traumatized by this blatant attempt to normalize monogamous married heterosexual reproduction,” shuddered Melanie Robinson, Program Manager for MIT’s Consortium for Graduate Studies in Gender, Culture, Women, and Sexuality (GCWS). Melanie is a founding member of the New England Black Circus, where she trained and performed in trapeze and aerial hoop, making her uniquely qualified for this influential position at the world’s leading STEM university.

BLM leader Reverend Tashella Sheri Amore Dickerson echoed concerns that Leavitt’s provocative display of white supremacy makes a mockery of her untiring efforts to advance diversity, equity, and inclusion.

“Nn-nisā’ al-ḥawāmil ghayr al-mutanqqibāt allatī yaqifna bijānib ashjār al-mīlād ḥarām!” ululated Representative Ilhan Omar’s press secretary.