Horror of horrors! Betrayal of betrayals! Say it ain’t so!
The world’s leading STEM university, formerly both the leading advocate of climate hysteria and leading recipient of federal climate research grants, has ratcheted its existential pivot up a notch.
Karen Knutson, former vice president and general manager for governmental affairs of Chevron, is now running MIT’s Washington DC lobbying arm.
She’s pro-life! She’s anti-LGBTQ! She worked for conservative Republican Senators Murkowski and Brownback! They took money from the Koch brothers! Her cumulative lobbying activity for the oil and gas industry has amounted to over $46 million!
To the barricades!
MIT’s entire climate justice activist establishment is in shock. The MIT Council for the Uncertain Future has gone moribund.
Even more threatening to MIT’s precarious budget situation, all those professors who were persuaded to focus on climate research are going to have to find new scientific interests if they hope to continue living at the taxpayers’ expense.
“It’s absolutely horrendous to see President Sally Kornbluth responding to changing federal priorities by acting in the best interests of MIT,” bellowed Nathan Shwatal from MIT Divest. “I call on all MIT students on the right side of history to camp out in President Kornbluth’s office until she recants her apostasy!”
NetZero zealots across the MIT community declared a day of mourning. “I gave up bathing and started eating weeds and bugs. And for what?” sobbed artsy, creative, queer, quirky East Campus resident Jennifer Axillae Foetidae. “What’s the point of finishing my degree in theater arts if I’m just going to die when the oceans boil five years from now?”
Story suggested by The Tech