One of the toughest challenges a satirist can face is trying to ridicule instances of unintended self-mockery that leave little room to pile on. This month’s “You Can’t Make This Up” award goes to Technology Review and its fawning artistic commentary titled Indigenous knowledge meets artificial intelligence.

Please give this whopper a read and gander at the “art” it is praising. (Just click the screen scraper on your browser to get past the subscription pitch.)

After scratching his furry noggin, the Beaver gave up and decided to turn selected slices of this technodrivel over to Perplexity.ai, tasking it with coughing up suitable rejoinders.

“Art is not separate from life; it is ceremony, instruction, design. Like architecture or code, it carries knowledge and enacts responsibility.”

And like a soufflé in zero gravity, it teaches us that meaning is nothing without the proper whisking of time and space.

“A new vanguard of Native artists are building on this principle. They are united not by stereotypical weaving and carving or revanchist critique of Silicon Valley, but through their rejection of extractive data models in favor of relationship-based systems.”

Crucially, they position creativity not as production but as ontological scaffolding: a distributed ledger of care, reciprocity, and algorithmic kinship. These works of art are not ‘objects’ but epistemic portals, shimmering in the interstice between infrastructural critique and ceremonial praxis.”

“Native technologies reject the false binaries foundational to much Western innovation.”

“When creative ingenuity is guided by the moon and empirical discoveries by ancestral dreams, what need have you for such pedestrian dichotomies as beautiful and ugly, profound and idiotic?

“This Herculean bronze sculpture cast from deconstructed faux totem blocks serves to indict settler sabotage of Native technology and culture.”

The only thing more daring than melting down totemic signifiers for commodified monumentality is the cultural appropriation of Greek mythology to describe it. One marvels at the courage required to intertwine such legacy-burglary with the perennial lament over settler colonialism.

(Nice job, for a snarky pile of Nvidia chips.)