Masked Barnard coeds stormed a campus administration building in a frenzied display of hysteria brought on by the Woke Mind Virus as hapless administrators feebly harrumphed and tut-tutted.

Demanding amnesty for their trespassing, assaulting of a security guard, and vandalizing of the premises, they claimed they would “burn it all down” if two expelled students weren’t immediately reinstated.

“We are here to prove that the women of Barnard are just as deranged as the men of Columbia,” shouted a purple-haired transperson only slightly foaming at the mouth. “We will not stop tearing our campus apart until Palestine is free from the river to the sea.”

Police stood by and did nothing because, after all, this is New York City and that’s what they do best.

The newly confirmed Secretary of Education Linda McMahon convened an emergency meeting to consider turning Barnard and Columbia into insane asylums.

“This will be a test case,” she explained. “Providing proper medication and custodial care for deranged students and faculty of universities incurably infected with the Woke Mind Virus may actually be cheaper than pretending to give them a college education. And even if it isn’t, turning these people loose on the streets to create havoc and reignite the pandemic when we are so close to containing it is no longer an option.”