Harkening back to its proud tradition as a key stop on the 1860s Underground Railroad, Oberlin College has embarked on the task of smuggling fired US executive agency employees and disgraced NGO bureaucrats across the border into Canada.

“Many of these civil servants will soon be facing criminal charges by a politicized Justice Department determined to unfairly place the blame for billions of dollars of waste and fraud upon the people who committed waste and fraud,” explained Carmen Twillie Ambar, the first black female president of Oberlin College, who hasn’t plagiarized anything.

With Congress ready to pass a Fugitive Bureaucrat Law, Oberlin’s board of trustees voted to convert their commemorative Underground Railroad Center into a tunnel entrance that will allow fleeing bureaucrats to avoid the autonomous SpaceX pursuit drones that have been sent to apprehend them.

Lame duck Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau issued a statement that former DC bureaucrats will be as welcome in his frozen wasteland as the Hamas freedom fighters that have established their new headquarters there. Allahu Akbar.

Dogefather Elon Musk responded with a wry post on X noting that he was the world’s leading tunnel expert. “If these scurvy dogs think they can hide from me underground they have another thing coming. Bwahahaha!”