Oil and cow farts and coal, oh my!

Right-minded people have been persuaded that we are all going to die if we don’t suck at least eleven billion tons of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere each year to make up for human activity.

In a proposal of mind-boggling proportions, MIT Experts™ have conjectured that we can increase the natural CO2 absorbency of the ocean without triggering dreaded acidification by making the world’s oceans more alkaline. How? By dumping colossal quantities of lime, waste products of steel slag, and cement kiln dust into the water!

Cool. What could go wrong?

“There are large obstacles to performing ocean alkalinity enhancement at the vast scale needed to measurably slow climate change. Imagine a process in which thousands of tons of rock are mined, ground to powder, transported to the ocean and then distributed by ship.”

Imagine indeed!

“All our ideas for doing this are still unproven at scale. Continued research and engineering will pursue the safest and most realistic approaches to ocean alkalinity enhancement, including to minimize the costs and energy use of every step from preparing minerals to the electrochemical systems used to treat seawater.”

By golly, that would sure help provide full employment for climate scientists and engineers. Grab some popcorn and watch them fight for a slice of what will soon be a dwindling pie of federal largesse allocated to calming climate hysterics.