In what has become an annual tradition, the Babbling Beaver offers you this Cracked Christmas Carol. Lyrics by the Beaver. Music by Pixabay. Vocals by Homer Simpson, courtesy of Lalal.ai. Image by Grok. Apologies to Charles Wesley and Felix Mendelssohn.

Click here to listen and sing along with the lyrics below.

Hark! the woke professors sing,
“Check your privilege you white thing.”
Elon’s coming, and he’s riled,
Soon we all may be exiled!
Joyful, hell, we face demise,
DEI he’ll vaporize;
How can we escape the blame?
Racism we did enflame.
Hark! the woke professors sing,
“Mental illness we did bring.”

Ibram Kendi we adored;
Diangelo we called Lord;
Cancel culture, bang the drum,
Twitter mobs make them succumb.
DEI says bend the knee;
CRT our Deity.
We made life a living hell,
Donald Trump is our death knell.
Hark! the woke professors sing,
“Soon will end our dim babbling.”

Grifters we in tenured ease,
Our demands they did appease.
DOGE will block our funding cash,
Deans and staffers they will slash.
Waste and fraud will be no more,
When they boot us out the door.
Intersectionality
The jig is up, oh woe is me.
Hark! the woke professors sing,
“No more can we say ka-ching.”