Despite receiving accolades over the invention of a public men’s room toilet seat that automatically lifts itself up after use, eliminating 95% of splashy messes, a startup founded by MIT and BU alumni is coming under pressure from trans activists who sit while peeing.

Cleana, a leader in pee & poo innovation, thought it was doing a good thing by making it unnecessary to lift a germy toilet seat before draining the trouser trout. Little did they know that transmen who need to sit to do their business would be mortally offended.

“How dare these bigoted engineers ignore my lived experience as a transman!” exclaimed Butch Peckerless, spokesperson for the Transman Activist Alliance (TAA). “It’s stressful enough to use a public men’s room. I’m always worried that I might be subject to harassment if some bully finds out that I’m a man with a vagina. And now some stupid high-tech toilet is going to assume that I pee standing up?”

The chair of MIT’s All-Gender Restrooms Working Group denounced the tech bro’s at Cleana for their brazen insensitivity.  “Just look at this all-male founder group and their all-male advisory board. How is it even legal to be so non-diverse? No wonder they committed such an outrage. Did they sleep through their four years of DEI training?”