Clinging to the coattails of the world’s leading STEM university, MIT’s School of Humanities, Arts, and Socialist Scientism (SHASS) finally decided to lean into its reputation as a refuge for DEI faculty hires designed to get the institute BIPOCLGBTQ diversity dashboard numbers up. Come celebrate its coming out as the clown show of Cambridge by signing up for its special summer training program.

Learn how to spew absurdities with an absolutely deadpan demeaner, perplexing audiences uncertain whether they should laugh or cry. Marvel at the many SHASS “scholars” who have inveigled their way into senior faculty and administration leadership positions with the thinnest of CVs. Master obtuse “Ways of Knowing” that render you immune from facts, logic, and reason. Release barrages of oral obfuscation whenever challenged, escaping like a giant squid in a cloud of ink.

With an expanding array of gut courses, and grade inflation that would make Harvard proud, SHASS offers a welcome relief from the grind of MIT’s rigorous core curriculum. So, click here and learn what it takes to achieve success in a brave new world where boys can be girls, girls can be boys, a careless slip of the tongue can get you cancelled, and it doesn’t require actual accomplishment to strut around proud as a peacock.