With public support of global warming hysteria evaporating faster than USAID graft, finding new ways to keep the people in a constant state of alarm is more urgent than ever.
That’s where MIT’s Climate Change Attribution Program comes in.
Attribution Science is one of the fastest growing branches of scientism advocacy. It blends opaque computer modeling and cherry-picked data mining with sophisticated media storytelling contrived to spin compelling narratives of doom. Causality, controlled experiments, and reproducibility all disappear under the magic wand of partial correlation demonstrating the power of Settled Science™.
Too hot outside today? Climate change. Too cold? Climate change. Too dry? Climate change. Too wet? Climate change.
Attribution Science is in its infancy, and can be applied to any problem.
Mass migration bringing criminals to your shore? Climate change. War in the Middle East? Climate change. Lab-escaped virus pandemic? Climate change. Anxiety and depression? Climate change.
The list of horribles that can be partially attributed to our ever-changing climate are limited only by your imagination and your inclusion in Soros-supported activist organizations and prestigious university climate projects.
And don’t think that just because you are an innumerate theater arts major that you can’t be part of the action. Opportunities abound to whip up public fear, which is the first step toward government funding.
Everyone must do their part to get voters back on the climate change hysteria bandwagon. You have nothing to lose but your integrity.