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Lincoln Laboratory advances national defense with all-gender bathrooms

Sam Brinton all-gender bathroom

MIT’s renowned Lincoln Laboratory has been serving the nation’s defense establishment for over seventy years, responsible for advanced technology developments in everything from missile defense to cyber security. In keeping with the Pentagon’s new mission to make the world safe for the gender-oppressed, Lincoln Labs “Out and Proud” employee network announced a breakthrough it hopes will become standard at all Federally Funded Research and Development Centers.

Behold the new All-Gender Bathroom (AGB), five years in the making. In a seminal paper titled “Designing for Equity: An FFRDC’s Journey to All-Gender Bathrooms” you can read all about the struggle to achieve pee and poo inclusivity, a major priority of MIT’s Institute Discrimination & Harassment Response Office.

Does your organization provide “restrooms where each and every person feels a sense of belonging?” Have you degendered your bathroom vocabulary so as not to exclude? Have you conferred with critical employee resource groups taking into consideration everyone’s concerns regarding privacy, odor, and embarrassment? As the report points out, “what if a colleague overheard the unwrapping of a menstrual care product and then attributed any disagreement they had with the product’s user to their fluctuating hormone levels?” The horror!

Thank you, Lincoln Labs. A grateful nation will sleep more soundly tonight.

Story suggested by the MIT News. Photoshop by the Rambling Raccoon.

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